When my son was born 9 years ago I went from being a spiritual very active Priestess to someone who basicly repressed everything that was remotely spiritual. Why? Several reason really. My coven and the energywork we did back then was really not very child freindly and in my area open rituals were very, very, VERY rare. But mainly I had the insane illusion in the beginning that nothing would change. No matter that I litterally went from being a Maiden to a Mother. I would still have the time and space to raise magic. Yeah right….
The idea of me continuing doing long amazing rituals was very fast and very brutally shattered. Anyone who am or have been a parent knows how much attention and energy a baby, toddler or child demands from you. It really does not matter if you are with them or not physically. They are always with you in your heart and mind. Where would I find the energy, time or focus that doing rituals demanded? When I did not even had the focos to do a short meditation when my son was asleep, always listening with one part of my self after if he woke up crying. Never really relaxing. The end result was of course that, since I was the one demanding the most of my self that I ended up with basicly no magic, no wicca, no meditaiton, no prayer, no Gods in my life for almost 9 years. Since I could not do it as perfect as I as a mother was SUPPOSED to do it I just let it fall.
Now, almost 9 years later I was blessed with a babydaughter and I have decided to let the chain of perfection go when it comes to my own spirituality. And I feeling so much freer for it! Here is what I learned along the way:
- INTENTION IS THE KEY Gone are the times where you could wander of for days, meditating skyclad in the forest all alone. These days I am happy to get 10 – 30 mins of alone time! The save is to focus on how you, well …. focus. Even the most mundane practice and habit can become an spiritual experience if that is your intention from the start.
- FORGET ABOUT PERFECT It is called “a spiritual practice” for a reason and practice makes perfect! As a mother to young children perfect is a word you simply have to remove from your vocabulary! If the price for sneaking in regular meditation or prayer in your daily life is a drooling but sleeping baby in your lap, so be it. Be creative! My father always said: “If you want it bad enough, you will find a way!”
- PRIORITIZE Yes, yes ofc our children will always be our number one priority. But if you are lucky enough (and your child is old enough) to be invited to an evening of meditation, an open ritual or even maybe a sabbat celebration with your old coven, do not hesitate to enlist a babysitter! It is way too easy for us women especially to give all we got and then some, to our family and especially the children, that we forget ourselves in the process. Remember to take care of YOU once or twice too. I promise – that will make you a better mom if you do not have to starve spiritualwise…
So, in a few weeks Fall Equinox is upon us. It is a so called astronomical sabbat: It is celebrated around the time where day and night are equal. We are celebrating and praising that the Dark Goddess have started her decent down into the underworld. She is following the last journey of the God, her son and lover, to return in late December when the God is born once more with the light. Here are three suggestions on what we as baby-mothers can do to still be a part of this celebration without abandon our children:
- GET BACK TO NATURE It usally starts much earlier (at least for me) but late September it is very obvious Fall is coming and that the Holly King have won over the Oak King. The days are shorter, the air clearer and more chilly. The leaves are changing color. As a baby-moma, take your child, either in the stroller or why not in a sling or wrap and take a long walk in Nature. The purpose here is to once more get accuainted with the movements and shifts of the Wheel of the Year. Talk to the Gods around you, either out load or silent within. Just to say: “Hey! I am still here! ” Is well enough! The Gods are very patient… Fall Equinox is an excellent time to balance yourself, press the reset button if you like. If the Summer has been stressful, this is the time to wind down. If your Summer have been uneventful this is the perfect time to speed up things. I always see fall as the time of new beginnings!
- DO A HOUSE CLEANING As a mother of two I have started to realise that cleaning is a never-ending project. It never ends. But something like that can easily be turned to my spiritual favor instead: Make sure that for every mess you wipe, for every laundry you wash, for every room you vaccuum, that you have your intention set as well. One intention could be for example to focus on a magical mopup as well. For every dirty, soiled water you throw out, for every pile of trash you toss you are throwing away all these deep layers of bad enery that have been piling up in your life over the Summer. For a goldstar: Do a cleansing in every room when you are done with the physical cleaning. Remember to lower your standards! I have done it with a glass of water, table salt and a thin stick of cheap inscense and it worked like a charm! Intention!
- START A GRATITUDE JOURNAL Fall Equinox is also called the 2nd Harvest and we are surrounded by the abundance of the Goddess and an abundance that God sacrificed himself for. This is a very appropiate time to focus on things we are grateful for in our lives. You can for example start by writing down three different things you are grateful for everyday. To start with it will feel strange and silly, but eventually you will notice that it will go easier and easier and best of all: You will feel better too!
So, 3½ week to the Apple Feast (Fall Equinox). How are you preparing for this celebration? Will you be celebrating alone or in a group? With just the cat as company or together with family? What does Fall Equinox mean for you? Please let me know in the comments below!